Finding Community in Your 20’s!

I want to start this off by saying community is out there you’re just not looking hard enough.

I know this may sound harsh but it’s the truth.

Why Community is Important

Life is meant to be lived in community. We are meant to have people to lean on when life gets hard. We are meant to have people to celebrate with when we achieve our goals.

Growing up I was the kind of kid who wanted to do everything on her own, and I mean EVERYTHING. As I got older and moved away from home, I realized that maybe this wasn’t the best option.

I’ve been living in Tampa for about a year and a half now. In this time I have learned what it is to live in community. And there is truly nothing sweeter. Don’t do life alone because you’re scared to put yourself out there. Below I’ll share the ways I have built a community around me in this new home.

Put yourself in places where people you would want to be friends with would be spending their time.

When you think about this, it is a very logical solution. Think it through with me. Say you want to have friends who you can go to the beach with for sunrise. One way to find people like this is to DO IT. Go to the beach for sunrise… yes alone. See who else is there, is someone else alone? If there is, this means two things. One , they must truly love to watch the sunrise at the beach if they chose to come do it alone. Two you guys have something in COMMON.

This is ACTUALLY how I met one of my best friends, shout out Helena (aka roof girl, if ykyk). I was watching the sunset on the roof alone one night, and my phone died. I was upset because it was super pretty so I wanted to get some pictures of it.

Looking around and I saw another girl, also alone, who was taking pictures of the sunset. I knew what I had to do, I was definitely nervous but I was a girl on a mission. I went up to her and explained that my phone died and that I wanted to get some pictures. Without hesitation she said, “oh do you want me to send you these?” and I was like “YES please”.

Then we got to chatting turns out were both from Long Island. We have everything in common, and a year and a half later she is literally my best friend.

I wasn’t even looking for community in that moment but it was there.

Reach out

Reach out, what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe theres a girl at the gym who you think is cool, maybe it’s someone you’re friends with on social media that you’ve never gotten to hang out with. It can be someone in your class, your club, the coffee shop, literally ANYWHERE. Community is all around you, just reach out. Take the first step and make a plan. A coffee date is always a good one, who doesn’t love a cute coffee shop.

I recently did this as well. I saw that a girl had commented on my Instagram Reel and so naturally I stalked her. Turns out we both live in Tampa and seem to have a bunch in common. So my roommate encouraged me to message her and I thought it was a great idea. I sent her a message and asked if she’d want to get coffee some time and she said yes. Well we got coffee, and it turned out great. We have even more in common than we thought! Now we are planning to hang out again next week (shoutout Izzy)!

Even if this hasn’t gone as well as it did. What is the worst that could have happened? She didn’t answer? Oh well. I think so often we don’t reach out due to the fear of rejection. But I think it is important to be comfortable enough with yourself (last weeks blog) to be okay with rejection. If we are too scared to reach out because of what could go wrong, we are missing out on all the things that could go RIGHT.

Get Involved in the Community Around You

I have made most of my friends in church communities. Whether it is from the women’s ministry I help run at USF or my church. I have met such AMAZING people this way. But in order to let this happen I had to get involved. I have been going to my church for about a year and a half but I just recently started building community there, because I got involved. I joined groups, I volunteered, joined teams. And it turns out when you put yourself out there, you meet people, and you just might get along super well.

Whatever this looks like for you, whether it is at church, at a club, a sport, a workout class, get involved. These are the people who enjoy the things that you enjoy, or share your values and they just may be your new best friend.

Your Community is Out There

Think about how many people are in the world, do you honestly think that NONE of them want to be YOUR friend.

Your community is out there, now go find it!

-xoxo, jenny <3