Growing Intentional Relationships
Learning to show appreciation for the people in your life.
I think it’s all too easy in life to take things for granted, especially people. It is one thing to know who you value in life, but it is another to show them. You may think something along the lines of “Oh she’s my best friend of course she knows how much I appreciate her”. But does she really? Think about a time that someone went out of their way to tell you that they appreciate or value you, genuinely. It feels good. That is an important step in how to grow intentional relationships.
Not everyone is blessed with good people in their lives. Not everyone has the privilege of fruitful friendships or a supportive family. This is something to be grateful for.
How can we build intentional relationships?
It really can be as simple as using your words and letting someone know “Hey I really appreciate what you do for me and I’m grateful to have you in my life.”
A little tip to build intentional reltionships is to learn their love language. How do they best receive love? Love languages are usually discussed in romantic relationships but that is not the only scenario where they are relevant. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, acts of service, and touch. How can we cater to each love language?
Love Languages
- Words of affirmation: If you’re feeling super intentional, write them a letter. Otherwise, a simple text or even a little post-it note put somewhere for them to find.
- Quality Time: Spend quality time with them with the intention of showing them that you appreciate them. Take them out to eat or any sort of activity that you think they would enjoy.
- Gift Giving: This doesn’t have to be anything crazy. But you can’t tell me that you don’t love when someone gives you a little gift and says “This reminded me of you”. It could be literally anything, something silly, something serious. This just shows someone that they are important to you and that you think about them even when you aren’t together. Another idea can be bringing them a coffee when you get one.
- Acts of Service: Help them out. Cook for them, run an errand for them, clean up for them. Sometimes it is nice when you are feeling super stressed and overwhelmed when a friend can take the time out of their day to check something off of your to-do list. Not only does it help you get something done, but it gives you a little push of motivation to keep going.
- Touch: These people are probably “huggers” lol. Honestly, sometimes we all just need a hug and to be told that we are cared for. So do that for each other.
Even if you’re not sure of someone’s love language it can be nice to switch it up every once in a while. Buy them a coffee one time and the next time maybe just shoot them a thoughtful text.
The Impact
It is so easy to get stressed out, overwhelmed, overthink, etc. You never know what is going on in someone’s mind EVEN IF they are someone close to you. Your most confident friend could be overthinking their worth. The most successful friend could be feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders. Your funny friend could be going through a hard time that they just don’t know how to talk about. So make sure you take the opportunity to show your appreciation for the people in your life. It might just be exactly what they need to push through a hard time.
Try to hold yourself accountable to this. Intentional relationships build strong community.
-xoxo, jenny <3
