Learning to Lean on Your Community

Independence

If you are anything like me, your natural instinct is to handle everything on your own. And for most of my life, that’s exactly what I tried to do. And that was the most isolating thing I could have done. The pressure of being independent and self-sufficient took over and I couldn’t understand the value of community. I truly thought I could handle it all on my own, and that I was better off that way. Boy was I wrong.

Going into college I moved 1200 miles from home knowing absolutely no one. Naturally, I was doing it on my own. However, this decision is exactly what gave me the place where I was able to learn the true value of community. And today I can take pride in the community I have built around me since.

Being in a new place I truly had the ability to become who I wanted to be. To start over and do things my way. But being in a new place also meant that I had no one to fall back on when I was struggling, and no one to run to when I wasn’t sure exactly who it was that I wanted to be.

I hadn’t realized the community I had in my family back home and now I needed it more than ever. Having all the challenges and responsibilities that just kept adding up once I started college just proved to me that I really couldn’t do it on my own.

Building Community

I started making friends and I was meeting a lot of people, but a community takes time to grow. These new relationships needed to be watered and taken care of. I needed to spend time with the people I hoped to build community with, intentional time. I needed to get to know their heart and grow comfortable with them. It was hard at first but once I built a foundation with the new people in my life, I was able to take the first step in learning that it is okay to rely on each other.

I don’t have to hide my sadness, my stress, or any negative emotions I feel. It isn’t going to burden anyone if I talk about the hard stuff. And most importantly being vulnerable doesn’t make me weak.

These are the lessons that I had to learn the hard way. But now I can live without carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders because I have countless people around me who all help to lighten the load.

Through talking about what I am struggling with in my community I have been validated, I have been told that I am not alone, that others share my struggles, and I have been picked back up and encouraged to keep going.

The Right Community

With the freedom of starting over and the ability to be who you want to be comes responsibility. There are certain people that will pick you up when you fall and there are others that will only tear you down. Choose your community wisely.

Put yourself into situations where you can meet people that you would WANT in your circle. A lot of the community that I have built in college came from a women’s ministry that I lead on campus. One of my other best friends I met while watching the sunset and taking pictures. The people in my community share my values and help guide me to be the person I want to be.

Be intentional with those you want in your community. We are all busy but it’s up to you to make the effort with the people you hope to grow with.

Final Thoughts

God built us to live in community. He didn’t put us on this earth to be alone. We are meant to lean on each other and pick up each other slack. We need to support each other. Hold each other accountable. Love each other. Community fosters growth, it allows you to be challenged. It allows you to become better. God meant for us to help each other to be more like Jesus. He knows we are imperfect and he knows we can’t do it alone.